I’ve never really been one to care about what people think of me. But I’ve realized today, (on my 16th birthday, of all days) that it’s been something I’ve been dealing with a lot. My anxiety sure has been kicking in. And normally I value thoughtfulness – I think all the time about every single thing in the whole world. But I need to stop thinking.
I keep turning it over in my head. And I’m in the clouds more than I’m in my day; the current hour, minute, and second. Instead of thinking about what I could be doing – how I could be making music, furthering my career, etc. – I think about what people will think about it. If my best friends will think it’s stupid, if my parents think it’s not worth attention, if the rest of the world thinks I’m incompetent. But I have to stop thinking, and just do it. I know what’s in my head. I know what I want my music to sound like. I’m taking online music classes while going to high school — I work harder than I give myself credit for. And I put more mental pressure on myself to be everyone else’s version of “good enough” than actually DOING the things that will make me my version of “good enough.” So this is my advice to myself in my sixteenth year:
Stop thinking. Just do.