My friends have seemed to consume a lot of my time. They force laughter out of me when I think it’s impossible. They brighten my day when there are thunderstorms everywhere I look. They clear my mind and refresh my perspective when my head is clouded with fog and smoke. But no friendships (especially the best ones) are perfect.
They hurt me when I think the clear skies couldn’t possibly go away after all this time. They push me out when my best intentions are to exude love and positivity. They cause tiny fractures when I have hurricanes swirling in my head and I just want to talk to someone, but I tell myself it can’t be them.
And it hurts more than I sometimes think that friendships should.
But lately I’ve realized something. The greatest destinations in life take a lot of fighting to get to them. If you want to take an incredible European vacation, you better start saving up. If you want to go to Heaven, you better start looking for the Lord. If you want to have a connection with someone, you better be ready to weather the crazy stuff that the world throws your way.
Just like the greatest destinations in life take battling, the greatest people in life take the most understanding. Here’s an example: One of my best friends is very similar to me, mentally. But she lives her life so differently that I constantly forget how similar we are, and I’ll get mad or jealous for a reason that would completely dissipate if only I remembered how similar we are. It’s hard sometimes. I just got out of a week-long “fight” with her where I questioned several times if she was still worth the energy that it took from me to put up a fight, and the discouragement I would feel if I put up the fight anyway and then realized it wasn’t the right decision.
So here’s the deal. Every person in your life is a decision. Every day that you eat dinner with your family, or laugh with your friends, you’re making a decision to continue on the pursuit of a relationship with that person. Every day you make a decision for yourself and for the person you have any kind of relationship with. Even when you don’t realize it. So step back and look at the decision you’re making. You are valuable. If you love, you deserve to be loved back. You put your time and energy into these decisions, so you have to be sure you’re making the right one.
The girl I just talked about? Yeah, it gets hard sometimes to keep the role of her friend, and to let her be mine. But you know what else? It’s worth it. I sure picked a good person to make a decision about every day. Sometimes she says something indirectly and I roll my eyes, when in reality, I’m like, “Did she really just say that?” However, so much more often I find myself thinking “How in the world did I get so lucky to find someone who can be this funny or have this amount of depth when you think nothing’s wrong with her?” I have that thought almost every day that I interact with her.
That, my friend, is when you know you are making the right decision.