Bad Weather

One of the visuals that comes to mind when I think about going through a hard time is storm clouds. I don’t know why. But here’s what I’ve learned about the storm clouds.

Sometimes it feels like they’re endless. That it’s been pouring down rain and hail and sleet for a crazy amount of time and it doesn’t show any signs of stopping. It will. But that won’t be it.

A few nights ago I had a sort of revelation. I’d been in a weird funk with all my friends and it was starting to break my mind & body down. But after this revelation, I knew exactly how I wanted to fix it – and suddenly I got an insane zest for life. I just danced around my room and laid in bed smiling until I went to sleep because for some reason I was so filled with energy and love for life. It felt really really good.

Fast forward to today, where my friends and I are out of that funk (and I didn’t end up ruining everything, yay!) and today was a great, positive day. I walk out of my bathroom after a shower, close my bedroom door, and look around. My room is a mess. I have so much homework to do and it’s nine p.m. I had some time today to get stuff done but I was so worn out from everything that I just sat and fell down YouTube rabbit holes. (It’s a dangerous thing, my friends.)

And what I realized was that the storm clouds were back. For the past three weeks, my friends have been my main source of anxiety and worry and stress. But there is so much else when you take that away. I hate school. I’ve become really insecure about the way I look, for some reason. I’m not even going to go there with the way things are at home because I’ll get upset and it’s way too late in the evening for that. The storm clouds are back, and it will probably take a lot of fighting to get them to go away. Am I up for it? Yeah, of course. But remember that there is still sunshine behind those clouds. Don’t take it for granted, and never give up trying to uncover it.

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